Phoenix
by Kibibe
Summary: During the fight in Eclipse Bella does cut herself & things get a little out of hand for her. Without a knight in shining whatever this time she has to save herself for a change. How will this new conditions affect her relationships?
1. battles

**Phoenix**

**Battles**

Seth was lying on the ground wounded. Riley was hovering over him - distracted by my smell. This reminded me of my disastrous 18th birthday party. One drop of blood had turned a room full of civilized vampires into a war crowd thirsting for sweet human blood. I had to act fast. Distract Riley some more and buy Seth some time to recover. Edward and Victoria were still doing their tango-ballett kind of thing. I grabbed the rock tighter in my hand and a support in the brace snapped. I tried to ignore the pain and ripped up the sweater on my arm, put the rock to my wrist and looked Riley straight in the eye as I sliced the skin from my wrist up to the crook of my elbow. It took a moment before I even felt the pain. And as it finally hit, I gasped. I met Victorias gaze. Curiosity, confusion and rage mingled in her strangely raw but beautiful features.

Everything happened so fast then. The last thing I saw of her was how she was thrown into a tree and landed on the ground with a dull thump. Then I was roughly thrown to the ground myself and as I opened my eyes Riley's face was just inches away, his eyes halfway closed deeply inhaling the scent of my blood radiating from the vein of my neck. My heart was pumping furiously in my chest. What was taking Seth so long? Was he off worse than I had thought? Or did it just feel so long to me? Was the time just dragging in my mind. Then I felt Riley's razor sharp teeth sinking in my neck. And I heard myself moan in pain. Was this it? Was my time finally up? I thought I could take it. I thought I could just die in the place of someone I loved, like I could before. But I couldn't do that anymore. I had too much to loose now. I had a life now. I was soon supposed to have a different kind of life with my new family. I felt adrenalin rushing threw my veins. My body was burning up like with some kind of fever. And I felt all my muscles tense. I suddenly felt so strong. I had to get him off of me. So I pushed. And he flew. He flew up to the sky and came crashing down. I sat up shaking furiously. He glared at me enraged and confused. My body was burning all over. I was radiating with pure rage and I squinted my eyes at him. His body bend to strange angles, his face a blurry mass of pain and fear. His mouth moved like he was screaming but no sound was coming out or the beating of my heart just drowned it out. However, I liked it. I loved it. It was beautiful and I felt so ... invincible. And then he burst. Like literally. Pieces of his body flew all over the place.

And I collapsed. My hands sunk into the wet ground. My hair fell like a curtain around my face - blocking everything else from my vision. I stared down at the ground. My breathing came in shallow gasps. I felt familiar cold hands wrap carefully around my shoulders and I heard his velvety voice. "Bella? Bella, are you in pain? Bella?" He sounded anxious. I looked up nodded. "He bid you, Bella. I have to suck out the venom. Do you understand?" I nodded again. I felt so tired. Spend. Like all the energy was drained from me. He bent his head down to my neck. His cool breath felt so good. Then his lips touched my wounded flesh and my blood was seeping out into his mouth. When he was done I felt so dizzy. He brushed back the hair from my face and kissed my forehead. His cool lips felt so good against it.

A strong scent of something like burning incense made me gag and I glance over to the raging fire that was sending thick purple smoke into the sky. Seth was standing next to it, throwing glittering pieces into the flames, studiously ignoring us. I felt Edward's eyes on me and turned my head to face him. He took a deep breath. His face had an unreadable kind of pained expression. It made feel like another enemy and I gulped. My mind was stuck. I just stared at him. "I'm so sorry Bella, but you're safe now. It's over. You don't have to be afraid. It's gonna be alright." He rambled. I stared at him confused. "I know ... Why? ... What are you talking about?" I stammered. "The fight. Your injuries. Aren't you scared? Aren't you in pain?" He asked confused. I shook my head slowly "No ... I think I'm just really tired." He nodded. "I'm so sorry. I failed to protect you jet again-" "No! You won't go there again. You killed Victoria for me. You've done all could." I cut him off. His self-loathing was getting to me. It was frustrating and it made me angry. He looked a little taken aback by my outburst although my voice was kind of weak. I buried my face in his chest and breathed in his scent. I clung to him and then I kissed him desperately - his chest, his hand, his neck until I reached his lips. And then he kissed me back fiercely. I had to come up for air eventually and panted leaning my forehead against his. "Are YOU OK? Did she hurt you?" I whispered. He smiled. "I'm fine. Not a scratch." A smile of relieve spread over my face. And I turned my head. "What about Seth?" "He's fine. It wasn't that bad and he's a fast healer. But we can have Carlisle check him out if he agrees." I nodded again. "And the others? Alice? Esme? Jake?" "All fine. It's all over, really. We had the worst of it here." He frowned. I reached out to brush it from his face letting the information slowly sink in. And sighing in relieve.

His voice brought me out of my thoughts again. "Bella?" He asked hesitantly. "About before ... what was that. What happened back there?" I knew what he meant but I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it myself. It was so confusing and I was just so tired. I shook my head and mouthed "I don't know" He carresed my cheek and let it go for now. I leaned my head on his chest when I suddenly remembered something. "Wait. About before. What did you mean about a complication and Alice and Sam? He sighed. "Well ..." "What?" I urged. "It's nothing really" "Define 'nothing'." I was getting agitated. "We don't have much time, so please don't panic. Everything's gonna be alright." "Spit. It. Out. Already." A look of confusion washed over his face. I usually didn't talk to him like that. But he quickly recovered. He pursed his lips choosing his words carefully. This couldn't be good. But then his head snapped to Seth - his eyes wide. "What is she doing?" Seth winced. He was anxious. It made me feel tense and uneasy. Something was wrong. "What is it?" I demanded. Loking back and forth between the wolf and Edward, feeling left out. I didn't like it. It made me angry.

They both winced again and their faces scrambled in pain. It took Edward's face in my hands. "Edward! Talk to me! What's going on?" But his gaze was far off. "Help them, Sam" He breathed. And I finally understood. The crisis was somewhere else. Something was wrong were the wolves were. "Edward!" I shrieked weakly. And he snapped out of it. He pulled me close and kissed me fiercely on the head. Then he gathered me in his arms and turned to Seth. "Go straight home now." He ordered. Seth hesitated. "Hurry." Edward enforced. And Seth took off. And before I knew it we were running as well. "What happened? Were are we going?" "We're going back to the clearing. The Volturi are coming." I gasped. I was too tired for another fight. I couldn't take anymore of this. Was it never going to stop? "It's not like you think." He tried to refrain. "They're not coming for us. They're here because of the newborns. Just the usual contingent to clean up the mess. Although they seem to have timed their arrival very carefully. Apparently they wouldn't have minded if the size of our family would have been reduced." He concluded grimly through clenched teeth.

"But why do we have to go back if they're not gonna harm us?" I asked. I really didn't feel like putting up with the Volturi today. Not that I ever felt like doing that. But today it was just the icing on my cake. "Well they're not gonna harass us but it will be safer for us to present a united front ... Jane is with them. If we were alone somewhere, she might be tempted." He explained. I sighed bracing myself. "It's gonna be ok." He soothed. "Alice saw that." Wait. Alice saw? "What about the wolves?" "They had to leave. The Volturi don't appreciate truces with Werewolves." "Oh." I felt a little relieved. I trusted Alice. And Jake and his friends were safe. Wait. "What about before. What happened to the wolves?" He hesitated. "Tell me!" I shrieked. "They thought they had them all but one of the newborns was hiding. Leah found him. She was being stupid - attacked him alone." He shook his head in disapproval. "Is she gonna be ok?" I asked anxiously. "She wasn't hurt." He answered. "But someone was. Who?" I demanded. He shook his head. "Maybe we should discuss this later. We're almost there." He evaded. "Edward ..." This was so annoying. Did I have to drag every single word out of him. All this patronizing was really setting me off. It took him some time, but he finally answered. "Jakob" He whispered. I gasped. "NO!" And buried my head in his chest.

**A/N: **Kind of retold the story from the book in the second half. I know. But I wanted to keep that & use it to discretly introduce the change in B's attitude.


	2. testing patience

**Phoenix**

**Testing patience**

As we stepped foot into the clearing, I was sobbing into Edwards chest. I was done. I've had enough for one day. I was feeling sad and guilty and angry and confused. And I was so utterly tired. I heard the others gasp in shock as they took in my appearance. "What happened?" Carlisle asked concerned. He was next to us now, checking my wounds. "I have no idea …" Edward mumbled under his breath. "She was bitten. I sucked out the venom. She seems to be fine considering the circumstances. She's just upset about Jacob right now." He explained a little louder. Then turned to Alice. "How long?" "Five minutes." She answered absentmindedly. She was probably busy keeping a close eye on the near future. "It's gonna be alright, honey?" I heard Esme's concerned voice near my head and felt her fingers brushing tentatively over my hair. And I felt myself relax a little. She just had something so calming and sincere about her. It made it hard not to believe her and I nodded slightly though still not lifting my head from were it was buried in Edward's chest.

But something was making me feel quite uneasy. Like a piercing stare and I glanced up looking for the source. The other Cullen siblings were arranged loosely around a bonfire like the one back in the woods only a lot bigger. Beside them there was a girl, a vampire. Her bright red eyes were fixed on me. Almost glowing. Leering hungrily. She looked younger than me. A teenager. Maybe fifteen. I met her gaze. I know I should have been scared or something, but I just stared into her eyes boldly until she averted her gaze. "She surrendered." I heard Edward speak up to explain and I nodded absentmindedly. "Carlisle's offer. Jasper doesn't approve." He elaborated.

I shifted my gaze to glance at Jasper, who was standing next to the girl with his back to me, watching her every move intently. He looked tense rubbing his forearm absently. "Is he alright?" I asked shooting a glance back at Edward. "He is fine. The venom stings. Like a bee sting." "He was bitten?!" I gasped. I hadn't expected Jasper of all people to be the one to get himself hurt. "He tried to be everywhere at once. Tried to make sure Alice had nothing to do really." Edward commented smugly. "Overprotective fool." Alice added grimacing at Jasper. "Sounds familiar." I mumbled under my breath. Edward frowned and his attention was back on me. "Well look at yourself. I didn't do a such a good job." I groaned annoyed. "Can we please not go there right now?" I snapped earning a surprised look from Esme in the process. "Two minutes." Alice informed quietly.

The newborn groaned agonized throwing her head back in frustration. Jasper growled angrily at her slipping into a crouch. "I can't stand it!" She exclaimed. "She smells so good. I _want_ her!" Jasper let out another deep growl and I whipped my head around staring her straight in the eyes. I was enraged. She cringed back. The Cullen's were looking at me surprised as Edward called my attention nervously. "Bella!" I met his gaze. He had a very serious look on his face now. "Whatever you do, no repeat of what you did back in the woods. Not with the Volturi so close by." He instructed talking slowly like with a four year old. The others were obviously confused by his words. I rolled my eyes annoyed. How stupid did he actually think I was? "I figured as much myself, thank you!" I snapped irritated. Everyone was gaping at me then taken aback by my tone. Edward seemed confused and slightly infringed by my outburst but let it go fixing his gaze on the horizon.

"Maybe you should set me down." I suggested. "You sure?" He asked glancing at me concerned. "I'll be fine." I reassured and he carefully set me on my feet. My knees were feeling a little wobbly and I leaned back against him. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "I'm fine. See?" I smiled and grabbed his arm slinging it around me. He returned the smiled and kissed me on the forehead. Then Alice, Rosalie and Emmett positioned themselves around us while Jasper and Carlisle stood a little to the front. They were taking formation. The Volturi had to be near. It wouldn't take much longer for them to appear and I braced myself taking a deep breath. This would hopefully be over soon and this horrific day would finally end. "Hello Jane." Edward then greeted politely and I heard her chuckle in the distance. I straining my eyes to make them out.

Then I saw them stepping out of the mist, separating themselves from the haze. Jane was leading them. I eyed her suspiciously. She had hurt Edward back in Volterra and I had the exigent urge to wipe that smug look of her pretty little face. But then I felt Edward squeezing my hand softly and Jasper sending me calming waves and I tried to compose myself taking in the rest of them. They were five all together. I recognized Felix. He was the biggest one of them and he winked at me visibly amused. And there was Demitri of course. Jane glanced briefly over all of our faces before turning towards the newborn. "What's that all about?" She asked confused. "She surrendered." Edward explained. "Surrendered?" She asked in an obviously amused tone as she turned to us again. "She was willing to stop her attack on us and therefore I saw no need to destroy her." Carlisle elucidated and Jane nodded slowly in disbelieve while the others exchanged a glance. "That's irrelevant. We don't reprieve." She stated with finality composing herself.

"Aro sends his regards, by the way." Carlisle nodded. "If you could convey mine to him?" "Of course." Jane smiled complacently. "It looks like you've done most of our work for us today …" She paused. "Just to clarify all the facts here. How many were they?" "Eighteen including her." Jasper stated nodding towards the girl. Jane's eyes widened and she looked around in disbelieve. "Eighteen?" "They were unskilled. All brand-new." Jasper clarified and Jane's head snapped up sharply. "All of them? Than who was their creator?" She demanded sharply. "Her name was Victoria." Carlisle answered keeping his calm. "Was?" She echoed suspiciously. "She is destroyed. Like the one that was with her." Edward answered inclining his head towards where we had just come from. Jane looked in the direction Edward had pointed out and her eyes focused on something far in the distance - probably the other fire. "So twenty. Impressive." She stated turning her attention back to us. "Who dealt with the creator." "I did." Edward answered. Jane's eyes narrowed and she turned towards the newborn. "Your name." She demanded. She didn't react right away so Jane punished her with her power.

I watched with disinterest. My mind was somewhere else. I remembered the events from earlier back in the woods and wondered what exactly had happened back there. I had felt so powerful. Riley's face had looked similar to the girl's face now. It was beautiful. I smiled at the memory. And it made me wonder … Had I done that? And if I did. How did I do it? Could I do it again? Could I maybe destroy little Jane? How would her pretty angelic face look twisted in pain and fear? That made a small smile grace my features.

Then I felt her gaze rest on me and the smile was wiped away. "… and why was the girl the key?" She asked curiously. I glared at her. "Victoria held a grudge against Bella." Edward informed her. She laughed. "This one seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind." I hated how she referred to me – like I was a pet. Arrogant bitch. I wanted to jump in her face and scratch her eyes out. I balled my hand into a fist at my side as I felt Edwards grip on me tighten and Jasper calming me down again. And I tried to compose myself. Making a scene in front of the Volturi would probably not be very wise. Then I felt her gaze again. She was looking at me rapturously and I felt Edward stiffen. I glanced at him confused. He was looking at Jane trying really hard to keep is composure. "Would you please not do that?" He asked between clenched teeth. Jane laughed again. "Just checking. No harm done apparently." She shrugged and I understood. I was mad with anger. I was livid. I felt the heat rising within me again and my muscles tense. But then I felt intense waves of calm trying to roll me over. And it made me even more angry. I wouldn't let them. I was fighting it until felt Edward starting to panic. His grip tight around me. Tight enough to bruise. And as I looked at his face I saw fear and exasperation and I felt bad about it and then I remembered where I was and why I should let Jasper calm me down. And I gave in.

Jane must have said something while I was … busy because Carlisle was answering her. Fortunately she didn't seem to have noticed my little slip up. Probably thanks to Emmett, who had discreetly stepped in front of us blocking her vision. "And you were so close. It's a shame you didn't arrive a little earlier. Perhaps then you could have done the job yourself." Edward remarked sharply glaring at her and she met his stare unfazed. "Yes, quite a pity how things turned out, isn't it?" Edward averted his gaze shaking his head in disapproval. I assumed she had just confirmed his suspicion, that they were waiting out hoping for some casualties on our side. And I had to fight my temper once again missing out on the conversation until I felt her eyes on me once more. "Caius will be interested to hear that you're still human, Bella." She spat my name. "Perhaps he'll decide to visit." She was really testing my patience today. Alice spoke up then. "The date is set. Perhaps we'll come to visit you in a few months." She informed and the smug smile was wiped off of Jane's face. I smiled to myself. Way to go Alice. I tried to imagine Jane's face again - twisted in pain begging me for mercy until that loud ripping sound made me cringe and I felt Edward rubbing my shoulders. And shortly after that they were finally gone.


	3. explanation

**Phoenix**

**Explanation**

The Volturi were finally gone and the tension and anger in me slowly subsided. Leaving me feeling weak and exhausted again. I felt my knees buckle under me. Edward must have sensed it too because he catched me and picked me up in his arms. I snuggled up to his chest. Trying to bury myself there. It was all coming down on me again. This disastrous day that seemed like it would never end. "Time to go home." Edward stated as he kissed my hair tentatively. He sounded worried. We ran back to the house. The wind rushed over me and I shivered. I was suddenly so cold.

Everything was just a blur to me. I was barely awake anymore. Edward laid me down on the couch. I was reluctant to let go of him. The familiar security of feeling his arms around me. Carlisle stepped up to tend to my wounds. I needed stitches on my arm that woke me up again. I didn't like it. But I brought that on myself. I tried not to think about it. Distracting myself with he sewed me up. He worked fast. Thank good for vampire speed. The others were loosely arranged around the living room watching us. Waiting more or less patiently for Carlisle to finish. They wanted to talk, I figured. They had questions of course.

I was very aware of the curious glances they shot. And as soon as Carlisle was finished Jasper spoke up. "So what is going?" He demanded looking at Edward. It annoyed me. They were talking about me and he didn't even bother to ask me. Talking about me as if I wasn't even in the room. Of course his brother would know better what was going with me than I. "Her temper is all over the place – totally uncharacteristic and what's with those cryptic conversation of yours – no repeat of what exactly?" I stared blankly at him. He was right. What was going on? I had no idea.

Edward shrugged his gaze fixed on me trying to figure me out or something I guess. "She was reckless …" No he was chastising me. "… and then she killed a vampire." He continued. They all stared at him in like he had suddenly grown two heads and a tail. Their expressions were priceless. I would have laughed if I wasn't still so annoyed that I didn't get to have say.

"What do you mean 'killed'?" Emmett stammered in disbelieve eying me strangely. Thank you Emmett. That really was encouraging. I glared at him. "You mean in a metaphorical sense." Carlisle said but Edward shook his head. "No. I mean she literally killed that vampire." They stared at me unconvinced. Measuring me. "How?" Alice wondered. Edward shrugged again.

"I have no idea … Victoria and another vampire – Riley attacked us." He explained starting at the beginning. Since even Alice hadn't seen anything thanks to Seth's presence. "Seth was down. I was fighting Victoria. Bella cut herself - to distract Riley I assume." He glared at me disapprovingly. "It worked. It disrupted Victoria's concentration too. Giving me an advantage." He obviously didn't like to admit that. It made my anger flare once more. "But Seth had trouble reviving himself. Riley attacked Bella and managed to bite her before one of us could get to her."

Esme gasped in horror. "Oh dear." I met her gaze and send her an apologetic smile. Looking at her eased my anger again. It was making me feel so warm and protected. It felt good. I liked looking at her I realised. I didn't want to look away. I fact I found myself yearning for her to hold me. As I thought about it I felt myself getting more and more tired sinking back into the cushions. My eyes slowly falling shut.

"I have no idea what happened next ..." I was brought back to reality by Edwards voice and noticed Jasper eying me strangely from my peripheral vision. It made me feel uneasy. I didn't know where to point my attention. Esme's warm caring smile? Edward's voice? Jasper's stare? "I mean I know what happened. I saw it. But I don't know how it happened or how she did it?" I felt his intense stare on me silently asking for an explanation. I had none.

"However …" He continued. "… the next thing I know he was flying off of her. Then she was staring at him … it was intense … she looked …" He struggled searching for the right words. "… vivid – shaking with anger." He was right. I remembered feeling pure rage pulsing through me as I looked at him. I recalled what I had been feeling. Panic. Overwhelming sence of loss. Rage. Heat. "He couldn't move. He was in excruciating pain. He was beyond confused even scared of her …" Edward recaptured his thoughts I realized. His very last thoughts for there weren't any last words. It made me feel quite happy knowing that he died in pain and fear – like his victims probably had. "… and then he burst – literally." Edward finished. "Wow …" Emmett marvelled at me.

"So how is that possible?" Rosalie asked sounding uneasy. Was she afraid of me now? That thought made me feel quite smug. Big bad Rosalie scared of me. She was glancing at Carlisle expectantly now. He shook his head helplessly. Still nobody thought to ask me. It was like being some exotic species in a zoo.

"'Vivid'?" Jasper echoed Edward's verbalization measuring me with his eyes and his talent. Edward nodded. "Yeah … wild really. It's hard to describe." I could describe. My feelings at least. "There has been a lot of anger back with the Volturi. I had a hard time calming her down. She almost lost it at some point." Jasper mused.

"Oh we noticed." Emmett laughed. I wanted to smack him. But it made me realise something. If he had noticed, had the Volturi too? What did they make of it? Were they suspicious? But if they were Edward would know and we probably would be sitting here so calmly discussing this I shrugged it off. "They didn't make much of it fortunately. They found it rather amusing." Edward declared. As if he had heard my thoughts.

"I thinking it might be connected to anger ..." Jasper mused again. "Maybe it's part of her talent." Alice stated. That was an interesting theory and I obviously wasn't the only one thinking that. So Alice elaborated. "As in it's getting stronger. Not just protecting her mind anymore?" Definitely interesting. Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. "Well that's the most credible explanation so far." He hesitated. "Only I've never heard of a talent developing like this when someone was still human."

My face fell. But what else could it be? That really was the most plausible explanation I could come up with and it would mean that there wasn't something seriously wrong with me. So I really wanted it to be true. That's when I suddenly remembered something. "What about Alice?" I asked. They stared at me perplexed. They didn't know where I was going with this. "What about me?" Alice asked before she seemed to look for what I was about to say. "Oh." She looked like she was seriously considering it as did Edward. They were finally listening to me. With the feeling of content the tiredness came back.

However the others were still left in the dark, so I explained my theory. "Well she obviously can't remember. But wouldn't it be possible that her talent has gotten stronger resulting in her family sending her … you know where? It must have reached a certain extant to no longer be tolerable for them."

It sounded really cruel. Saying it like that. I hoped I hadn't hurt her feelings. She seemed a little uneasy but send me a smile. With that I felt my eyelids flutter close. And sleep clamed me. "Hmm … I think you're on to something there." Some body said. I was only faintly aware of them discussing this matter further anymore. I could no longer bear to hold my eyes open. So I slowly drifted of into peaceful oblivion.


End file.
